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I do not want to be a passive participant in my romantic life.I do not want my dating choices to be limited to the guys who are still optimistic enough to send a message; I might miss some good ones who are just tired of being ignored and I can’t blame them. I asked above why I should bother to get on the rollercoaster ride of being the asker instead of the askee, and I think the reason it’s worth trying is the reason it’s worth trying many things that make you uncomfortable; empathy.Maybe instead we can learn to treat each other as equal players of a very silly game that we all secretly take quite seriously. But it seems quite clear to me that we’re not there yet. I’m a feminist, sex-positive 21st century lady whose photos include me posing in a Rosie the Riveter Halloween costume.I write about gender on the Internet for crying out loud!Why do I not respond politely to every message, even the ones I’m not interested in? Once we make it out of the safe cocoon of the Internet and into the real world I’m better about aligning my actions with my values.Why do I alternate between playing the damsel and the playing the demanding entitled a**hole? Out here, at a bar or restaurant, I work really hard to make sure that you know we are equals participating in a traditionally unequal transaction.Until then, I thought the biological clock was a myth created by women dissatisfied with their careers or trying to mend wayward marriages.... Amateur matchmakers can also join for free, and receive compensation if the friends, family members and co-workers they recommend reach certain relationship milestones such as first date, engagement or marriage.

You will put on some mascara, plunge out into the snow, meet a stranger, and after an hour of slightly stilted conversation, he will grab the check.Why can’t I apply this “equal investment” attitude to the getting of dates and not just the paying for dates?***** It’s a little too far past January 1st to call this a New Year’s Resolution, but I’ve decided to make a change.She will offer to split, but you think she doesn’t mean it and you don’t want to be a jerk.You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade.

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